1. From Twilight: New Moon Pose, open the legs out as wide as is comfortable.
2. Keep the thigh muscles engaged and the hair swooped to the left.
3. Tuck the junk carefully between the legs, a bulge might ruin the effect.
4. Press the legs down into the floor, and cry.
Entry Level: If the striped tights are too loose, shave the legs and paint them.
Adapted instructions from about.com.